You Are Beautiful But You Don't Mean A Thing To Me
by EmW05
Summary: Sometimes you have to fight for what you want and its always worth the fight, but sometimes what you're fighting for doesn't want you back.
1. Prolouge

So I heard this song by Death Cab for Cutie and the words, "You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me" really hit me because it is so true sometimes. No matter how beautiful you are, sometimes it doesn't just matter. I had been on a hiatus from writing, taking time to get this whole college life figured out and now that I know I will never figure it out… here I am, back ready to write again. So here goes nothing…

**Tiny Vessels…**

This is the moment that you know  
That you told her that you loved her but you don't.  
You touch her skin and then you think  
That she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.  
Yeah, she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.

I spent two weeks in Silverlake  
The California sun cascading down my face  
There was a girl with light brown streaks  
And she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.  
Yeah she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.

Wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking  
As we moved together in the dark  
And all the friends that I was telling  
And all the playful misspellings  
And every bite I gave you left a mark

Tiny vessels oozed into your neck  
And formed the bruises  
That you said you didn't want to fade  
But they did and so did I that day

All I see are dark grey clouds  
In the distance moving closer with every hour  
So when you ask "was something wrong?"  
That I think "you're damn right there is but we can't talk about it now.  
No, we can't talk about it now."

So one last touch and then you'll go  
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more  
But it was vile, and it was cheap  
And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me  
Yeah you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me


	2. Deepest Cuts Are The Hardest To Heal

**_Chapter One_** - _Deepest Cuts Are The Hardest To Heal_

She wanted him to believe in her, believe in everything she had to say, believe that someday, soon, they could be together and be happy. He wanted her to know that it wasn't working, that this, this thing between the two of them, just wasn't what it was supposed to be. She had no idea what was coming. He didn't know how to tell her.

He closed his eyes tight, shutting out the world never to let her in again. Closing his eyes, he remembered how things used to be. He remembered the first time they made love, the way their bodies moved together almost seeming like one. They were an intricate puzzle to which the pieces fit perfectly, or so he thought. He peaked out of his left eye to scan across the room. He saw her in the corner. She ran her guitar-callused fingers through her light brown hair and glanced at him. He quickly clinched his eyes. _You are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me. _

She wanted him so badly. She just wanted to hold him like she used to. She just wanted to lay in their bed with him. She just wanted to be with him.

He glanced back at her. Their eyes met. Deep down she has to know, he thought to himself as he grabbed his book bag and threw it onto his back. She stopped talking mid-sentence and ran toward him.

"Nathan! Please!" The pain in her voice was like a knife in his heart. He looked over his shoulder at her. _You are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me. _He turned back around and kept walking. "Nathan, you can't avoid this forever." Her short legs were nearly in a dead sprint.

He quickly turned around and dug his hands deep into his pockets, "No, I can't, but I can avoid you." The main building couldn't come soon enough. He just wanted to get away, from her and from… him. There he was next to Nathan's locker. For a second Nathan forgot that was Lucas' locker space too.

Lucas started to open his mouth but before any words could come out Nathan immediately slammed the locker door. "You can't do this forever Nate." Lucas called out to him. Nathan slammed the glass door and irately walked to his next class.

There she was, again, sitting right in front of his seat. For a second he forgot that seats were in alphabetical order. "Damn alphabet." He said as he tossed his book bag to the ground.

Haley turned around in her seat and stared at him with the big brown eyes that made him fall in love with her months before. They now seemed empty, meaningless… to him. He remembered things about her eyes that no one else could possibly know about. Like the way her eyes were swollen when she woke up in the morning, and the way her left eye was slightly smaller then the right whenever she got out of the shower. Like the way she could only wink her right eye and the way her eyes changed colors whenever she cried. He looked into her eyes trying to see something, anything. He saw the same thing he had been seeing since she got home, nothing. _You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me._

"Nathan. Would you please just listen to me for once? You know how I feel about you… you know you mean more to me than anything ever has before…"

"Oh, and that's how you show it. By leaving town? By traveling the country with Chris? Is that how you show people how much you love them these days? Wow, I didn't get that memo…" Nathan didn't even know what he was getting so upset about. He didn't even care anymore. The deepest cuts are the hardest to heal regardless of what you want to think.

He watched her slowly run her fingers through her hair and down her neck. She had her wedding ring on. He took his off months ago. She twisted her ring around her finger. He knew she was nervous. She did this when she was nervous. He knew her far too well. He knew her in's and out's. He knew that when she got upset she chewed on her bottom lip and when she was about to cry she would cross her arms over her chest. He knew she had a tiny birthmark on the back of her right leg and a freckle in between her index and middle finger on her left hand. He knew that it took her approximately eighty-six minutes to get ready to go out and that she sang show tunes in the shower. But none of that meant anything anymore. _You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me._

"You know it wasn't like that. You told me to pursue my dreams and I did…"

"Oh, so it was my fault." He lowered his chin between the crevice of his thumb and index finger and sarcastically said, "Right, I totally forgot." He grabbed his book bag and threw it over his shoulder. "I am not talking about this right now."

Nathan stormed out of the room without looking back.

Haley sat quietly at her desk. She pulled a pen out from behind her ear and slowly scribbled out the Scott in her name on her calculus test. She traced over the James and put the pen back behind her ear. She turned around.

In the very back corner of the room sat Peyton. Haley gave her a half smile, the only thing Peyton gave in return was a shaking head. Peyton did not agree with anything Haley had been doing lately, but did respect her for fighting for Nathan.

The last thing Peyton wanted Haley to do was give up the fight. Peyton wanted so badly to have something to fight for. She was tired of fighting over her mom, and boys, and stupid, juvenile things. She wanted something to fight for. Something that was worth all the trouble you put into it. She wanted Jake back.

Peyton picked up her black shoulder bag off of the floor and put it over her shoulder. She kept her eyes on Haley as she walked out the door. "Nathan! Hey, wait up!" She called after him. He stopped and turned around. "Hey Nate, she is still crazy about you and…"

"Peyton listen, its not that, its just, its not there anymore. You understand, it happened with us…" He said jokingly.

"Haha, very funny." She readjusted her strap on her shoulder, "but seriously Nathan, what are you doing?"

"About?"

"Haley, the way you are treating her. Even she doesn't deserve that. Nathan you know better…"

"Peyton listen, its complicated okay." Nathan looked down at his feet. "It's just…"

"Hi best friend. Hi... kind of married Nathan." Brooke looked Peyton and Nathan up and down. "Is a sex-capade about to occur?" She looked around and whispered, "Should I leave the hall?" Neither replied. "So I was thinking, I'm really into Lucas and I am pretty sure he is really into me so I was thinking, I know thinking right," Brooke pushed her hair off of her shoulder and readjusted her weight onto her other hip, "But I was thinking, maybe I should do something for him… like make him dinner…"

"Brooke you can't cook." Peyton said now focusing her attention on her clueless best friend.

"Okay, by cook I meant order take out, but its all the same in my book." Peyton rolled her eyes. "So, Nathan, if a girl was trying to win you back what would she have to do?" As soon as the words escaped her lips she realized the mistake she had made. "Nathan, I'm sorry… I didn't mean it…"

Nathan turned around, back to his classroom. She walked out of the room and glanced at him. She gave him a half hearted smile and continued down the hall, in the opposite direction. He watched her hips sway and her light brown hair flow. _You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me._

**_So guys I hope you liked the first chapter to "You Are Beautiful...". I am sorry it took me so long to get back into writing and I promise someday I will finish those other stories, but for right now I am going to try and focus on this one so READ AND REPLY! _**

**_love to love ya  
em_**


	3. PretendingThat I Didn't Break Your Heart

**Chapter Two**

_I'm Going to Stop Pretending That I Didn't Break Your Heart_

_I'm gonna tell you what you need to hear  
And I'm a little too late  
By three or four years  
And it may not make much sense  
Now that we are apart  
But I'm going to stop pretending  
That I didn't break your heart _

You see I never thought enough of myself  
To realize that losing me could mean  
Something like the tears in your eyes  
And I want to tell you I'm sorry  
And it's too late to start  
But I'm going to stop pretending  
That I didn't break your heart

And it's Christmas eve  
Years down the line  
Sitting here wishing I'd treated you better  
When you were mine  
And I have no way of knowing where you are  
But I'm going to stop pretending  
That I didn't break your heart

I didn't mean to hurt you  
I didn't know what I was doing  
But I know what I have done

**Christmas 2009 in Lexington, Kentucky (Nathan is a Junior in college)**

Through the ice cold whipping wind, Nathan could hear Christmas songs being sung by carolers. Standing next to the light post covered in garland and white lights, the carolers seemed to glow. He smiled at the sight of a teenage couple standing at the back of the group. They boys hand was carefully tucked into the girls back pocket and every few seconds she would look up at him, wink, and rest her head on his shoulder. As flurries started to fall from the winter sky, the couple looked up and closed their eyes. Nathan, who was peaking out his front door, did the same. He wanted to feel the snow so he took at few steps and watched his door close behind him. He sat on the front steps of his porch, letting the snow fall on his shoulders. His light eyes followed the couple once again. He rested his elbows on his knees and closed his eyes, remembering that last Christmas he saw her.

**Christmas 2005 in Tree Hill, North Carolina**

She stood next to the Christmas tree in the café carefully putting each ornament on their own branch. Nathan watched he move across the room to behind the counter. She reached for a mug and filled it up with coffee. Even before she did it, he knew she would put in three splashes of milk, two spoonfuls of sugar, and a dash of cinnamon. She did just that. _You are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me. _He smiled to himself as he continued reading that day's sports section. He scanned over the front page. His picture, along with Lucas's, covered the front. _Tree Hill High School small forward, Nathan Scott, has signed to play college basketball at the University of Kentucky in Lexington, Kentucky. Also from Tree Hill High, Lucas Scott, has signed to play basketball for Duke University, in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. The rivalry of the brothers will continue on…_

Nathan looked up at Haley. He stared at her left hand. She still wore her wedding ring. Haley caught him looking at her and started to walk in his direction. He lifted his newspaper to cover his face.

"I can still see you, you know?" She said, peaking over the top of the newspaper.

"I know that." He said as he folded up the paper and laid it in front of him.

"I saw you signed with Kentucky." She smiled at him, her heart breaking because she knew he would be over six hundred miles away from one another. "That's so exciting Nate." She put her hand on top of his, "I'm really proud of you. You know that."

He looked at her and nodded his head, "I know. Thanks." He quickly pulled his hand away and grabbed his paper. "Well I better get going. Ya know, homecoming game tonight... I'm supposed to escort Bevin." He rolled his eyes. It's going to be miserable."

She ran her fingers across the tabletop and said, "Better go prepare… mentally." She gave him a half smile and watched him walk toward the door. He put his hand on the door knob and she said, "See you soon?"

He turned around and nodded. "Have a good break."

She nodded at him and smiled, "Same."

The door closed behind Nathan and he started to walk around the corner. He could see her through the glass window wiping off each table. He watched her smile at a table full of customers. _You are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me._

Nathan walked down the sidewalk staring at the ground; he looked up for a second and then looked back down.

"Nathan!" He heard from behind him. He slowly turned around. It was Peyton. "Hey."

"Hi. What are you doing?" He asked her, scanning her up and down. Her hair was all done and she had on a full face of make up. "What's with…"

"The make up?" She laughed and put her hands into the pockets of he ripped up jeans, "I know." She pushed him on the shoulder, "Homecoming court tonight remember?"

"Oh right," He laughed, "How could I forget?"

"I don't know. You were only forced into escorting her." Haley looked over her shoulder, she felt like someone was looking at her. She looked into the café. It was Haley. She was watching every move Nathan and Peyton made from the corner table. When she saw Peyton looking at her she immediately continued cleaning the table.

"Yeah, I know." He shrugged his shoulders, "No big deal." Nathan looked over Peyton's shoulder and watched Lucas walk toward them. "Brother alert. I'm out of here. See you tonight?"

"Yeah, good luck." Peyton said as she dug her hands deeper into her pockets.

He smiled at her, "Same to you."

Lucas walked into the café, "Hey Hales," he said to her. She now stood behind the counter. "What's up?"

Haley shrugged her shoulders and look up at the clock, "Shouldn't you be getting ready for the homecoming court?"

Lucas looked at the clock and looked back at her, "There are a lot of things I should be doing right now."

She looked out the door and saw Brooke look in and then immediately turn away. "Like talk to her?"

Lucas watched Brooke talk to Peyton outside the café. "It's not that easy Haley."

"But it is Lucas. It is that easy. Put one foot infront of the other, walk out there and tell her how you feel." She shooed him out of the café. "Go. Go talk to her. Go!"

Lucas stood up and started to walk out. He turned around to look back at Haley. "See you tonight?"

"See you tonight." She said reassuring him. Haley watched Lucas open the door and stand in front of Brooke and Peyton.

"Hi." Brooke said to him as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Lucas gave her a half smile and said, "Hey."

"Brooke. I need to get going, but I will see you both tonight." Peyton said as she started to back away from the pair.

"Peyt… you don't have to go." Lucas said.

"No, I do, really. I don't… I don't like my hair I have go to fix it… or something." She said letting her voice trail off. "I will see you tonight."

Peyton turned around and walked away from Lucas and Brooke. She looked down at the sidewalk until she saw a pair of converse sneakers in her line of vision. She remembered those shoes. She looked up slowly and there he stood, right in front of her. His hair was longer now and he looked older. His jeans were more ripped and his long sleeve tee shirt fit a little tighter than she remembered. She looked into his eyes. There he was. Jake.


	4. Lip Gloss and Letdown

**_Chapter Three_**

**_Lip Gloss and Let Down_**

"And this year's starting lineup for the Tree Hill Ravens…"

The crowd roared as "Bring 'em out" played throughout the packed gymnasium. Peyton, Brooke, Bevin, and Rachel sat in the English classroom down the hall from the gym. The girls could hear Mouth's voice over the speaker system.

Brooke smiled when she heard Lucas's name and looked down at her shoes. She stood up and ran her manicured fingers over her emerald green satin dress. She heard a knock at the door and looked at Peyton. Peyton shrugged her shoulders and walked toward the door. Brooke followed behind her and peaked over Peyton's shoulder.

It was Jake.

"He's back?" Brooke asked, excited for her best friend.

Peyton opened the door and said, "I hope so."

_**Earlier that day…**_

_Peyton was in shock. There he was. She had been waiting for him to come back for so long. She couldn't move. Her mind, her body, every part of her was in total and complete shock. She put her hand out and put it on his. "I just wanted to make sure it was real this time."_

_He smiled and intertwined his fingers with hers. "I'm glad it's real this time." Jake pulled her close to him and she dug her head deep into his chest. She breathed in deep and closed her eyes. He put his face into her hair. "When I would dream about you…" She looked up at him. "I could never smell your hair, or touch your skin, or kiss your lips." Jake kissed her on the forehead, "But now here I am… and you're exactly how I remember. Perfect."_

"_Please don't leave me again Jake." Tears started to fall from hazel eyes. As each tear fell from her eyes, he would kiss them away. "Please tell me you're back for good."_

"_I wish I could." Peyton looked down at the sidewalk. Jake put his hands on her cheeks and pulled her face up to look at him, "Please Peyton, don't cry, you know I love you and that I wouldn't leave…"_

"_Wait."_

"_What?"_

"_You love me?" She said now looking up at him._

_Jake put his hands on her hips and kissed her, "Of course I do. You didn't think that me being gone would change that did you?"_

"_I didn't know… you were gone and I was here and I just thought…"_

"_Well you thought wrong. Peyton, you are perfect… for me and I don't want to be with out you again. If I have to leave again… I want you to come with me."_

"_Where would you have to go?"_

"Jake? What is going on?" She looked him up and down. He was dressed in a tuxedo.

"You look amazing." He said as he kissed her.

"Thanks." She said with a huge smile crossing her face. She shook her head, "But what are you doing? Why are you dressed like that?"

"I have an idea." He said grabbing Peyton's hand and leading the way. He led her to the gym where he went to the announcers table.

Mouth looked painfully confused. "Jake?"

Jake nodded, "Mouth I need you to do me a favor."

Mouth shook his head and mouthed, "Not now."

"No, Mouth, I need you to do this for me."

Mouth grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down, "Write what you need."

Jake reached for the pen and wrote, "For the homecoming escorts, put my name with Peyton, Lucas with Brooke, and Tim with Rachel. Okay?"

Mouth wrote, "I can't do that Jake," as he continued to comment on the game.

"Please, this means a lot to me. " Jake wrote quickly.

Peyton grabbed the pen from Jake, looked at Mouth and wrote, "Do it for Brooke."

Mouth closed his eyes, took the pen from Peyton, and changed the name on the sheet.

Peyton smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Jake took Peyton's hand and led her back to the class room. The two walked into the room and Brooke looked up from the magazine she was reading. Bevin and Rachel stood in the other corner of the room, Bevin lacing up the back of Rachel's corset dress.

When she heard the door open, Rachel whipped her head around. She smiled at him and started to walk in his direction. Bevin followed behind her, continued to lace up the back. "Hey," She said, in a breathy voice, "I'm Rachel, the new girl, and to be new head cheerleader. And you are?"

"Taken." Peyton said as she squeezed Jake's hand.

Brooke glared at Rachel. She hated her. She despised her. Lucas was her escort and she hated her for that. She was trying to take over Brooke's life. That made her hate Rachel even more. She watched Bevin ooh and ahh over Rachel. Brooke felt like she might vomit.

Bevin looked up at the clock and said, "First half should be about over. Maybe we should head on out there." She tugged on the straps of her brown halter dress and walked toward the door.

Rachel reached into her purse and pulled out a tube of lip gloss. Bevin watched her every move, "Hey Rachel, what's that called?"

Rachel smiled and tossed Bevin the tube, "Orgasm," She said choking on her own words.

"You have got to be kidding me." Brooke said standing up from her chair.

Peyton walked behind Rachel and said, "Rachel you have some threads hanging." She reached into the teacher's desk and pulled out scissors. Peyton cut the top and the bottom lace of the corset. "There. Perfect." She said patting Rachel on the back.

Rachel smiled at Peyton, "Thanks."

Peyton smiled back and Brooke glared at her.

The principal knocked on the door and said, "Girls, come on and line up."

The girls stood up and got in line, Rachel, then Bevin, then Brooke, and finally Peyton. Brooke turned around to Peyton, "Why the hell did you help her?"

Peyton rose an eyebrow and said, "Oh I didn't, just wait, you'll see."

Brooke smirked at her and followed Bevin out the door. The four girls stood in line outside the doors of the gymnasium. They all lined up how they thought they were supposed to. Brooke was first. Tim stood next to her trying to take her hand. She pulled it away quickly and hit him on the arm. "What?" He screeched, "I'm your escort. I have to hold your hand."

"No," She said, glaring at him, "No you don't."

Behind Brooke stood Peyton and her escort, Chance Hampton, another senior basketball player. Every few seconds she would look over her shoulder, checking to make sure Jake was still there. And every time she looked, there he was.

Next was Bevin. Bevin could not take her eyes off Nathan. Nathan kept starting at the ground, trying to avoid her and Tim.

"Hey Nate, look at this." Nathan look up at Tim and Tim opened his dress coat. "I didn't put on my shirt." He started laughing, "I'm not wearing a shirt Nate."

"I see that Tim." Nathan said he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Tim, do us all a favor and put a shirt on." Peyton said to him as she leaned forward.

"Rachel likes it don't you Rachel?" Time said as he turned to the back of the line.

Lucas adjusted his bow tie as Rachel said, "Yes Tim. Very sexy."

"Don't get a hard-on Tim." Brooke said staring forward, refusing to look back at Rachel and Lucas, "We have to walk out there soon."

"… And now the 2005 Homecoming Candidates…"

"We have to go out there now."

"…Chosen by the senior boys, Brooke Davis…"

Brooke interlocked her arm with Tim's and started to walk out the door.

"… escourted by senior basketball player… Lucas Scott…"

Brooke looked up and toward the back of the line. He walked toward her. Both of them confused.

He took her hand and looked her in the eyes, "Life has a funny way of making sure you are still paying attention, huh?"

She looked into his deep blue eyes and fell in love all over again.


	5. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

**Chapter Four**

**Who I Am Hates Who I've Been**

I watched the proverbial sunrise  
coming up over the Pacific and  
you might think I'm losing my mind,  
but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am  
'cause then you'll see my heart  
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.  
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.  
Stop right there. Well I never should have said  
that it's the very moment that  
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.  
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.  
I'm ready to try and never become that way again  
'cause who I am hates who I've been.  
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.  
Couldn't keep to myself enough.  
And the things bottled inside have finally begun  
to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps  
sinking up to the beating of my heart,  
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,  
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can't let that happen again  
'cause then you'll see my heart  
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Who I am hates who I've been  
and who I am won't take the second chance you gave me.  
Who I am hates who I've been  
'cause who I've been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.  
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.  
I'm ready to try and never become that way again  
'cause who I am hates who I've been.  
Who I am hates who I've been.

_**Who I Am Hates Who I've Been**_

Brooke took a deep breath and looked at Lucas. His face showed no emotion. She tried to smile at him but let out a long sigh instead. She stepped forward, her long emerald dress trailing behind her. The duo stood in the middle of the gym floor, lights and cameras flashing at them. For a second Brooke closed her eyes, remembering the night she saw Rachel in the backseat of Lucas's car.

"_I wanted you to say there is no one else that you could ever be with and that you would rather be alone than without me…I wanted the Lucas Scott from the beach that night; telling the world that he's the one for me…"_

She opened her eyes when she heard Mouth call Peyton's name. Brooke stared at the ground as she walked over to the chairs where she and Lucas sat down. She crossed her legs and let her left hand smooth out her dress. She rested her hand on her right leg. Lucas closed his eyes and put his hand on top of hers. She slowly turned her head. There eyes met and Brooke chewed on her lip. She felt his thumb run over the top of her hand. She smiled to herself and looked up at Peyton and Jake standing in the middle of the gym.

"…Peyton Sawyer is the daughter of Larry and the late Anna Sawyer, and Ellie Hart…"

Peyton looked over at Brooke knowingly. Lucas nodded. "She knew what she had to do." Lucas said nodding.

"Sometimes you just do." Brooke said, now looking at him.

Peyton looked over the stands and noticed a familiar looking woman. The woman nodded and smiled at her. Peyton narrowed her eyes at the woman. The woman stood up with a bouquet of flowers. Peyton looked at Jake and then back at the woman.

"… Your next 2005 Homecoming candidate Bevin Price escorted by senior basketball player Nathan Scott…"

On the way to the chairs, Peyton dropped the single white rose with blue tips she was holding and ran to the stands. The woman was still standing. It was Ellie. Peyton stood in front of her, silent. She took a deep breath and said, "I'm so sorry about ever-…"

Before Peyton could finish, Ellie threw her arms around Peyton and said, "You don't have to make excuses… you being here is good enough."

Peyton looked down at the flowers, "Alstromeria…" She looked at Ellie, "Those are my favorite, how did you know?"

Ellie smiled, "They're my favorite too." Peyton smiled and watched a tear fall from Ellie's eye, "Okay, go back down their… that boy looks like he misses you."

Peyton looked at Jake and smiled, "Yeah," She said, her voice fading away. "I'll be back."

"Don't worry," Ellie said sitting down, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Who was that?" Jake asked as Peyton sat down next to me.

"Someone who I have needed for a long time." Jake looked at her, confused. "That's my mom." Peyton said, staring at Ellie.

Haley's eyes followed Nathan as she carefully watched every step he and Bevin made. Nathan's noticed her watching them and he casually put his hand on the small of Bevin's back. Bevin smiled as she and Nathan walked to the chairs.

Haley cringed and ran out of the gymnasium. Lucas watched her and then looked at Brooke. "I'm sorry." He said as he stood up and chased after Haley.

"… Nominated by the cheerleaders, Rachel Gattina, escorted by senior basketball player Tim Smith…"

Tim put his hand on Rachel's back and she pushed him away. Lucas ran passed her and she grabbed his arm pulling him toward her. She put her hand on the back of his head and kissed him hard using her tongue to push open his lips.

Lucas pushed her away and ran out of the gym. He found Haley sitting at a desk in the English classroom. "Hales, whats up? Come on. Talk to me."

She closed her eyes tight and put her head in her hands, "I can't do this any more Lucas." She looked up at him, "I just love him too much…"

"That's not possible Hales…"

"…And now for you're 2005 Homecoming Queen and King…"

"You better get out there." Haley said, "Brooke is going to wonder what is going on…"

"I can't." He said, shaking his head, "I love you too much."

Mouth's voice rang out over their entire school, "… You're 2005 Homecoming King and Queen are… Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott…"

Haley looked at the door and then back and Lucas.

Brooke closed her eyes and bit her lip. This is what she had wanted her whole life, but not like this, not without him. Brooke stood up and walked to accept her crown. She lowered her head and felt the crown on top of her head. Brooke watched a figured walk down the bleachers and onto the court.

She glanced over at the doors and saw Lucas standing with Haley. Nathan stared at the doors where his estranged wife and half brother stood. Brooke watched the figure come closer to her. It was Chris Keller. Nathan stood up and ran toward the doors.

"Get away from her!" Nathan said pushing Lucas out of the way.

"No Nathan don't!" Nathan lifted his right arm and punched Lucas.

"It's not like you even care about her anymore…" He said as he cupped his hand over his eye.

"Oh yeah? Well you sure have a funny way of showing her that you care." Nathan said, looking back at Brooke, who stood in the middle of the gym, crown on head and flowers in hand.

Lucas watched Chris put his arm around Brooke and fury rose through his body. "Don't touch her!" He said, walking toward Chris.

"What are you gonna do Luke? Hit me?"

"You asked for it." Lucas said as he hit Chris.

"Do you know what this is going to do for my singing career?" Chris asked as he covered his nose.

"Hopefully nothing." Lucas said as he looked at Brooke.

Brooke closed her eyes and dropped her head. She was tired. She looked up at Lucas, "Please, just tell me what is going on. I don't understand where this is going or if it is going anywhere. I see the way you look at her," She said looking at Haley, "and I know the way you look at me and even though they are the slightest bit different I don't know which one means what…" She sighed and continued, "So what is this? What is going on?"

Lucas looked at Haley and then back at Brooke, "I wish I could tell you Brooke…"

She nodded slowly and bit her lip, "Well when you find out… let me know." She walked away.

Lucas called after her, "Brooke, wait."

Brooke shook her head and continued walking away.

Nathan followed her into the classroom, "He really loves you, you know?"

"Yeah," Brooke said as she unzipped the back of her dress, "She really loves you, you know?"

Brooke slipped off her dress and pulled her blue cheer skirt on over her nude lace boy shorts, "Its a lot harder than anyone ever told me."

Nathan's eyes scanned Brooke's half dressed body. "It wouldn't be worth it if you were taught about love."

She pulled her white bodysuit over her head and turned to him, "How is that so easy for you to say?"

He shrugged his shoulders and looked out the door, "Well I better get going, second half…" She nodded and slipped on her white cheerleading shoe, "Brooke?" He said as he opened the door, "Just give it time."

Brooke looked up at him and nodded, "Thanks."

Nathan walked out of the room and saw Haley sitting on the first bleacher. He sat down next to her. The two of them said nothing. This was the first time in a long time that neither really had anything to say to the other.


	6. Come Downstairs and Say Hello

**Chapter Five**

**Come Downstairs and Say Hello**

_Dorothy moves to click her ruby shoes  
Right in tune with dark side of the moon  
Someone, someone could tell me  
Where I belong  
Be calm, be brave, it'll be okay  
No more messing around and living underground  
And new year's resolutions  
By this time next year I won't be here  
I turn on MTV, the volume's down  
Lips move, they say  
It'll be okay  
To tell you the truth, I've said it before  
Tomorrow I start in a new direction  
One last time these words from me  
I'm never saying them again  
and I shut the light  
and listen as my watch unwinds  
To tell you the truth, I've said it before  
Tomorrow I start in a new direction  
I know I've been half-asleep  
I'm never doing that again  
I look straight at what's coming ahead  
and soon its going to change in a new direction  
Every night as I'm falling asleep  
These words repeating in my head  
Voices calling from a yellow road  
To come downstairs and say hello  
Don't be shy, just say hello  
To tell you the truth, I've said it before  
Tomorrow I start in a new direction  
I know I've been half-asleep  
I'm never doing that again  
I look straight at what's coming ahead  
and soon its going to change in a new direction  
Every night as I'm falling asleep  
These words repeated in my head_

**Christmas 2009 in Winston-Salem, North Carolina**

_She thought by now she wouldn't remember what he smelled like. She remembered perfectly, Polo Blue and Listerine mouthwash. She thought by now that when she accidentally washed her clothes in the same detergent she used to wash his in, that she wouldn't be bothered by it. She was. She looked out the window of her apartment and sighed. She hated every beautiful day. She wished it was raining or at least cloudy. She crossed her arms over her chest; she always did this when she felt like she might cry. He knew that._

"_Haley!" She heard her roommate, Callie, yell from the living room. "UNC is playing."_

_Haley wiped her eyes and walked into the room. Callie sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. She pulled her legs onto the couch and patted the seat next to her. "Come on."_

_She smiled and took a seat next to Callie. Haley watched the television screen carefully. She saw Nathan's number and crossed her arms over her chest. _

"… _that's right, without the wildcats small forward Nathan Scott…"_

_Haley cringed and Callie watched her every move. "That's kinda weird Haley… he has the same last name as you…"_

"_Yeah, it's a common last name though ya know?" Haley said. She never changed her last name. She couldn't. He meant to much to her._

----------------------------------------------------

Brooke sat in the front seat of her Volkswagen bug tapping on the steering wheel waiting for him to come out of the doors. There he was. She watched him run his fingers through his blonde hair. He walked over to her car.

"Hey." He said peaking in through her window.

"Hey." She said, smiling at him.

"Congrats homecoming queen. I know that's what you've always wanted."

"Yeah… that and something else…"

"Brooke, I know…"

"I wish you knew Luke, I wish."

"I wish I did too. I wish I knew what I wanted."

"I understand. Sometimes it can't be what you want it to be…" Brooke said as she started her car and switched into drive.

"Brooke, please…" Lucas said as he held onto the window frame.

"No," She said as she looked at him, "Please Luke, just let me go. I'm trying to let you go."

"Brooke, you don't have to. It doesn't have to be like this."

She gave him a half hearted smile and wiped her eye, "No, it does, for now."

Haley couldn't go home to Brooke. She had to go somewhere anywhere. So she got in her car and just… drove. She drove watching the Christmas light covered trees pass. She wasn't going anywhere in particular, or at least she didn't think she was. Without thinking she stopped her car and looked up. She got out of the car and walked to the front door of the house. She slowly knocked.

Nathan answered the door. He crossed his arms over his chest.

She took a deep breath.

"Nathan, please, just listen to me this one time. I got in my car with no intention of coming over here. I have been driving around for two hours with no where to go and without even thinking, this is where I ended up. I am not saying that this is a sign that I was supposed to be here right at this moment or anything but… I guess deep down I am kind of hoping that is what you were thinking when you saw me standing at the door and I just…"

"Nathan?" Nathan looked over his shoulder to see Brooke in an oversized tee shirt.

"Oh." She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest and chewed on her lip.

"Haley, please." Nathan said reaching for her.

"No." She said quickly pulling away. "No, I get it…" She stared at him. "Ya know Nathan, just because you cover it up, doesn't mean I can't see it." She said, pointing at the wedding ring he wore on a chain. "I just like for everyone to see it." She held up her hand.

Nathan walked out of the house and stood on the stoop, "Oh so is that why you hid it in your guitar case when you were on tour. Because it means so much to you right?"

Haley started to walk back to her car.

"Because our relationship meant so much to you right?"

"Nathan, no… don't do this to Haley. Please." Brooke said grabbing Nathan's arm.

Haley opened her car door and yelled out to Brooke, "I'm going home… but I guess I won't see you there."

Brooke ran out of the house, "Haley please, don't be upset."

Haley let out a scoff and got out of the car, "How could I not be upset Brooke? How would you feel if you went to go talk to Lucas and when he answered the door and after you poured your heart out…?" She paused for a moment and ran her index finger under her eyes, wiping away the tears, "You saw me standing there. How would that make you feel?"

"Haley, I didn't mean for this to happen… just, can we talk about this in the morning"

"Don't worry, I'll have my stuff moved out by morning so I won't have to talk to you."

"You don't have to do that."

"No I do." Haley opened her car door and got in. She quickly sped off.

Brooke turned around to look at Nathan. "What have we done?" She said as she lowered her head and walked into the house. Nathan put his hand on her back and followed her inside.

Haley shuffled through her purse, searching for her phone. She quickly pulled it out and pressed two on her speed dial.

"Hello?" The voice said, half asleep.

"Luke. I need to see you."

"Hales what's wrong? What's going on?"

She couldn't tell him the truth; she couldn't break his heart too. "Nothing, I just need to talk."

Lucas nodded his head and said, "Meet me at the rivercourt. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you." Haley said, her voice trailing off.

Lucas grabbed the car keys off of his dresser and dashed out the door. He was glad she needed him, because he needed her too.


	7. Writing To Reach You

**Chapter 6**

**Writing to Reach You**

_Every day I wake up and it's Sunday_

_Whatever's in my eye won't go away_

_The radio is playing all the usual_

_And what's a wonderwall anyway_

_Because my inside is outside_

_My right side's on the left side_

_Because I'm writing to reach you now but_

_I might never reach you_

_Only want to teach you_

_About you_

_But that's not you_

_It's good to know that you all know I'm hurting_

_It's good to know that you are doing well_

_It's good to know that you all know I'm hurting_

_It's good to know I'm feeling not so well_

_Because my inside is outside_

_My right side's on the left side_

_Because I'm writing to reach you now but_

_I might never reach you_

_Only want to teach you about you_

_But that's not you_

_Do you know it's true?_

_But that won't do_

_Maybe then tomorrow will be Monday_

_And whatever's in my eye should go away_

_But still the radio is playing all the usual_

_And what's a wonderwall anyway_

_Because my inside is outside_

_My right side's on the left side_

_Cause I'm writing to reach you now but_

_I might never reach you_

_Only want to teach you_

_About you_

_But that's not you_

_Do you know it's true?_

_But that won't do_

_And you know it's you_

_I'm talking to_

_Christmas 2009: Lexington, Kentucky_

_Nathan walked into his house and ran his hand across the edge of the coffee table. He smiled at the picture resting on the table. He picked it up. He let his fingers linger over the dusty frame. Inside the frame was a picture of him and his new girlfriend, Lindsay, at the Beta Sigma Phi formal in the fall. His arm was wrapped around her tanned waist and her strawberry blonde head rested on his shoulder. Nathan smiled at the picture and set it back down on the table. He continued into the kitchen and stood over the sink, looking out into the backyard. _

_The driveway was visible from the kitchen window and Nathan saw a black SUV pull into the driveway. He watched Lindsay climb out and run to the back door. She swung open the door and jumped through the doorway. Lindsay threw her arms into the air and then spun in circles. "My god! Isn't it an amazing day?" She threw her arms around Nathan's neck and smiled at him, "It is an amazing day to be alive!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him outside._

"_Lindsay. No. It is so cold." Nathan said trying to get his girlfriend to compromise he said, "Come on, let's just stay inside, we can make hot chocolate…"_

"_Come on old man! You are such the party pooper!" She smiled and let go of his arm. Sometimes he did feel like an old man compared to the eighteen year old Lindsay. She smiled her million watt smile and motioned for him to come toward her. "Come on Nate. A little snow never hurt anyone."_

_He gave her a half hearted smile and walked off the porch. His foot hit the snow and he looked at her. The two smiled at one another and Nathan came running toward her. Lindsay screamed and jumped into Nathan's arms. She wrapped her long legs around him. She pushed her lips against his, letting their mouths remain together for a second longer. The two pulled away. Lindsay leaned back in, opening their mouths this time, their tongues dancing in each others mouths. Nathan pushed her long hair off her shoulder and pressed his lips against her neck. She moaned and whispered in his ear, "Lets take this inside."_

_Nathan knew the routine. The pair would go inside, fool around for a little while, and then when things started to get hot and heavy, Lindsay would freak out, proclaiming that she "just wasn't ready" and, surprisingly, that didn't bother Nathan. He just enjoyed being with her. Sometimes Nathan, of course, being a 20 year old man, just wanted to have sex with Lindsay._

_He let go of Lindsay and she started to walk into the house. She looked back at him, "Aren't you coming?" She pushed her hand into the back pocket on her army green pants._

_Nathan nodded, "Yeah, but, I gotta go work out with the team." He walked up the steps to the porch and put his hand on her lower back. He kissed her on the cheek and walked into the house._

_Lindsay took a deep breath and gave him a half hearted smile. She watched him go into the backroom and change clothes. "When are you going to be back?" She yelled to him as she popped three grapes into her mouth. _

"_Three hours or so." He said, emerging from the room now fully dressed in his Wildcat blue._

"_Want me to make dinner?" She put the bundle of grapes back into the refrigerator and turned to him, "I could make pasta. I know how you like that..."_

_Before Lindsay could finish, Nathan had another one of those flashbacks that he had been having lately._

**Christmas 2005- Tree Hill, North Carolina**

"Yes sir. Tonight we have pasta with meat sauce." Haley said as she casually chewed on the end of her pen. She ran her fingers through her ponytail and slowly tapped her foot. She starred at the man trying to order his food. She thought he must have stared at that menu for at least forty five minutes straight.

"Um. Hm. I'm sorry; can I have just another minute?" The older man asked as he looked up at Haley.

"Oh of course." She nodded and said, "I will be back in just a few minutes."

Haley walked away and rolled her eyes as she looked at Lucas who was sitting at the bar. His arms rested on the top of the table; he lowered his head onto his arms. "Trouble with a customer?"

Haley threw off her apron and said, "I am taking, a break." She grabbed a class of coffee and started to walk outside.

The door to the café opened and Nathan walked in.

Haley rolled her eyes and immediately walked behind the counter and out the backdoor.

"Haley, please."

"Nope, nope, nope." She said, almost running out the door.

Nathan swung open the door to see her sitting on the back stoop.

"I don't know what you could possibly have to say that would make me (a) want to listen to you or (b) make me change my currently and possibly permanent feelings about you. Those feelings being that you, Nathan Scott, are a heartless, sex hungry, demon child." Haley took a long drink from her cup of coffee.

Nathan stood in front of her and put his hands into his pockets. "And I don't know what I could say to you that could change your mind about me. But I do know that a long time ago, the Haley James I used to know, gave me a chance and her mind changed about me forever. So maybe that Haley James could come back…"

"That Haley James left."

"Yeah she did, she left with Chris Keller. She left her friends, and her family, and…" Haley looked up at him, her eyes slowly filling up with tears. Nathan finished, "her husband."

"So now we are back to this?"

"We are always back to this Hales."

"Haley! Table seven says he is ready to order…" Karen said. Her voice started in a yell, but was now almost a whisper as she emerged from the kitchen to the back steps.

Haley stood up and walked back into the café.

"You know she still loves you Nathan. That's not the problem." Nathan nodded at Karen. "The problem is that she knows you still love her."

Karen walked back into the café. Nathan followed behind her.

Brooke walked into the café and stared at Lucas, still sitting at the bar, and then at Nathan, who was walking out from behind the counter. Brooke looked around the café and immediately ran out.

"Brooke wait!" Nathan yelled as he started to follow after her.

"If you want her back," Lucas said as he looked at Nathan and then back at Haley, "then you can't be doing thinks like that."

"Oh really?" Nathan said as he held open the door, "I was about to say the same thing to you."

Nathan ran after Brooke, "Brooke wait."

Brooke quickly turned around, "Nathan it was a mistake. It was all a big mistake."


	8. Now That There's Nothing In The Way

**Chapter 8**

**Now That There's Nothing In The Way**

_Now that there's nothing in the way_

_Why do we still keep_

_Keep our distance?_

_Don't you ever find it strange_

_or is it only me? _

_The matter of our silence?_

_Do you notice how we still_

_Skirt around the past?_

_And how we tread so gently?_

_Do you notice how we don't_

_Ever touch upon the possibility?_

_Once we lived in different towns,_

_Once you wanted to be free,_

_Still we stole ourselves a summer._

_Do you not see me that way now?_

_Or is it that maybe_

_You think I'm still tied to another?_

_Do I read too much into_

_Things you do and say?_

_That would be just like me._

_Am I the only one who thinks_

_Our guards are always raised_

_In each other's company?_

_I've never said a word through fear_

_Of seeing just surprise_

_Written in your eyes._

_I've never wanted to appear_

_Foolish as I find_

_It's never crossed your mind._

_**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

It was raining outside. It was always raining outside. She could hear the drops pitter-patter on the tin roof top of the apartment. She looked out the window to the dark, cloudy sky and closed her eyes. She let her hand touch the glass, it was moist from condensation. Her index finger lingered over the window, writing her name, Haley Scott.

Haley opened her eyes just in time for the tears to begin to fall. She sat on the edge of her bed and started to wipe her tears away. The tears started to pour and Haley lowered her head into her hands. She couldn't stop.

A kitchen knife lay on her bed side table. She looked up and stared at it. Haley got off the bed and walked toward the knife. She picked it up and ran her left thumb over the blade, watching the blood slowly rise from beneath her skin.

There was a knock at the door. Haley licked her finger and quickly whipped her head around. She wiped her face with her right hand, "Yeah?" She said choking back the on coming tears.

Peyton stood in the doorway, nervously rubbing her elbow with her left hand. She stared at Haley's hand and the bloody knife on the table. Peyton swallowed hard. "Haley, come on." She walked toward Haley, "It's…" She walked closer and Haley started to get nervous, "It's not worth it Haley."

Haley looked at Peyton and collapsed on to the bed, "Peyton, I just can't do this anymore. I don't even know why I am doing this anymore. It's just, I love him so much, ya know?" Haley sat up and shook her head, "And now I am to the point where I am just thinking, what's the point of it anymore? Where is all this going? Are we going to be together or aren't we? Does he still love me or doesn't he?"

"I don't think it is a matter of whether or not he loves you anymore Hales, I think that much is obvious. Of course he loves you, how could he not? I think it's a matter of…" Peyton sat on the bed next to Haley and put her arm around her shoulders, "he's just as scared as you are, if not more."

A half hearted smile crept across Haley's face. She looked out the window and closed her eyes. She looked back to Peyton, "I just get so scared now." She stood up and walked around the room, "I am just so scared." Haley ran her hands over her wedding dress in her closet. She turned around to Peyton, "And I don't know what to do to keep from feeling this way." She paused for just a moment. "I am scared that he is going to leave or that he is going to fall in love with someone else…" She took a deep breath, "Or maybe I'm just scared of him falling out of love with me."

"Ya know Haley, I don't have a ton of experience with guys but, I do have experience with Nathan and trust me, he has never looked at anyone any day of his life the way he looks at you every single day." Peyton stood up and walked toward the door. She looked out the window next to the front door, watching Brooke pull up in her Volkswagen Bug. "If you need to talk… you know where to find Nathan…"

Haley nodded and held her thumb tight. She choked a little, "Thanks."

The door opened and Brooke walked in. "I was just on my way out." Peyton said as she smiled at Brooke.

"P Sawyer, where are you running off to?" Brooke said as she layed a bag of groceries on the island in the kitchen.

"Oh you know, off to listen to some stoner music or draw a depressing picture or maybe find my birth mom. You never really know where the day will lead me." She smiled, "Bye friends."

"Bye Goldilocks." Brooke said as she pulled a gallon of milk, cereal, and fruit out of the paper bag. "Look who decided to leave her room."

Haley shook her head and walked back into her room. She grabbed her cell phone, which sat right next to the knife. 'Either one could kill me,' She thought to herself. She scanned through her phone. It was funny; Lucas Scott was right above Nathan Scott in her phonebook. She skipped the first and dialed the latter.

"Hello?" His voice was raspy, like he had been asleep.

"Nathan?" Haley said, still fighting tears.

"Hey… Haley." Nathan sat up in his bed and stared at himself in the mirror across from his bed.

"Hi." She couldn't think of anything to say. Her mind was on overload; she had all these things she wanted and needed to tell him, but nothing would come out.

"I'm surprised to hear from you."

"I'm surprised I called."

"Yeah."

Silence. It was almost as if there was nothing to be said.

"Meet me somewhere." Haley said, the words just falling out of her mouth.

"What?" Nathan asked, confused.

"I need to talk to you…"

"We are talking." He interrupted.

"No," She said as she grabbed her car keys, "I mean in person." She looked in the mirror and ran her fingers through her hair. "I need to talk to you in person."

Nathan rolled off of his bed and grabbed a pair of khaki shorts, pulling them over his blue boxer shorts. He ran his hands over his tee shirt, "Okay. Downtown courtyard?"

"Yeah. See you there." Haley closed her phone and straightened her clothes over bros concert tee.

Brooke walked into Haley's room and stood in the doorway, "Where are you off to?"

"I'm meeting Nathan." She said as she quickly pulled her light brown hair into a loose ponytail.

Haley walked out of her room and passed Brooke. Brooke watched her as she grabbed her purse and opened the door.

Brooke called after her, "Haley."

Haley slowly turned around, her ponytail whipping around, "Yeah?"

"Go get your husband back. He's waiting." Brooke winked at her and smiled.

Haley nodded, "Trust me, I'm gonna try."

"That's my tutorwife."

"I love you Brooke," She put her hand on the doorknob, "I really do."

Brooke smiled, a tear almost falling out of her right eye. "I know, I love you tutorgirl."

They both smiled.

"Go!" Brooke shooed her out the door, "Go get 'em!"

Haley quickly closed the door and ran to her car. Brooke watched her carefully. Her smile immediately turned to tears.

Brooke's back slid down the side of the island. She sat on the floor and leaned her head back against the wooden counter. Her tears poured from her eyes. She pulled the waist band of her army green pants down and stared at the heart tattoo she had gotten several weeks before, an outline of a heart with a script L in the middle. A tear fell onto the tattoo and almost at the same time the front door opened. Brooke slowly pulled herself up.

It was Lucas.

She quickly wiped her face and said, "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Why did you do it Brooke?"

"Do what?"

"You know what you did." He said his voice much harsher than before.

"No, I don't so why don't you tell me what is going on."

"You slept with my brother. You figured since you couldn't have me right now you would just go for a consolation prize? Is that it? You were that desperate…"

"I was not desperate Lucas…"

"Oh yeah then what were you? Horny? Lonely? What?"

"I was missing you."

"That is no excuse Brooke!"

"I know its not, okay? I know its not." Brooke walked toward him, "I don't know what to do anymore Lucas. Where is this going? What is the point anymore!"

"I guess there is none."

"God! You say that and I just don't want to believe you because I know deep down that I couldn't and wouldn't feel like this unless you and I were meant to be together."

"Brooke, I don't know what else I can say."

She rubbed her eyes and put her arms over her chest."Leave." Brooke said. She almost had no voice now. "Just leave."

Lucas didn't move.

"Lucas! I said leave!" He walked toward the door, walked out, and slammed it behind him.

And just like the rain, Brooke's tears started to fall for the fifth consecutive day that week.


	9. Long Way To Happy

Chapter 8

Long Way To Happy

_It's gonna take a long time to love  
__It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
__It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
__Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
__Torn apart but now I've got to  
__Keep on rolling like a stone  
__Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy_

_---------------------------_

_It was too early to be awake on a weekend. Basketball season was getting hot and heavy and so was Lindsay and Nathan's relationship. March madness began in two weeks and Nathan knew that if his pent up sexual tension was not released with in the next few days there would be another kind of March Madness occurring._

_Lindsay lay on the couch in the living room watching reruns of "What Not to Wear" on TLC. She placed her left hand on her hip bone and reached for her coffee cup. She lifted her head and took a long sip. She coughed a little, "Nate! Nathan!"_

"_Yeah," Nathan yelled from the adjacent bathroom. He lathered shaving cream onto his face and peaked out the door. "What is it?" _

_She threw her long, tanned, toned legs off of the bed and held her coffee cup in the air, "What kind of coffee is this?" She crossed her legs and ran her hand down her right one. She waved the cup in the air._

"_I don't know, Lindsay, coffee?"_

_She continued waving the cup until, finally, some spilled on her white tank top. "Damnit." She said as she put the cup on the coffee table. Lindsay stood up, walked into the kitchen, and got a damp towel. "Come on." She said, talking to the coffee on her shirt. _

"_Who are you talking to?" Nathan asked, wiping the remaining cream off of his face. He wiped his hands on his bare chest and studied himself in the mirror._

"_No one, just the coffee on my shirt."_

"_You are talking to the coffee on your shirt?"_

"_Yeah, I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time." She said, now sounding almost embarrassed. She tugged at the bottom of the shirt, before finally pulling it over her head. _

"_Just put it in the wash." Nathan said, pointing at the washing room from the bathroom. "I just started the load that's in there."_

_Lindsay nodded in agreement, "Why thank you sir."_

_Nathan studied her body as she walked into the laundry room. Her pink boy shorts made the legs on her 5'9" frame look miles long. He watched her. He left the bathroom and walked into the laundry room and ran his index finger down to the small of her back. _

_Goosebumps raised on her skin as she turned around, letting their eyes meet._

_Nathan's lips bombarded. Lindsay moaned from the powerful kiss. He ran his hands down her neck and back. He rested his hands on her hips, letting his fingertips roam the band of her shorts. Lindsay moved her hands from his shoulders to his black jersey shorts, slowly pulling on the hem of them. She lowered herself, her tongue caressing his abdomen. She kissed the line from his abs to his waistband of his shorts, then pulling the shorts off. She put her lips on the place where his member protruded. Nathan let out a soft moan and she stood up. He placed his hands under her buttock and lifted her on top of the washing machine. She reached her hands around her back and unhooked her black bra. Nathan watched her emerge from behind the bra. He picked her up, carrying her into his bedroom. He layed her onto the bed, kissing every inch of her body and climbing onto the bed with her. Lindsay strattled him and dug her face into his neck. She sucked on his earlobe and then blew on it. He let out a long moan and Lindsay felt him get even more excited. She whispered into his ear, "Nathan, I am ready. I want to have sex with you. I am ready to give myself to you." She lifted herself up and looked him into the eyes._

_He pulled away from her and said, "Lindsay…" He turned his head away from her and looked at a picture sitting on his desk. It was a picture of he and his mother in the courtyard back in Tree Hill. It wasn't who was in the picture that made him think; it was remembering who was behind the camera that brought him back. _

* * *

As he walked across the street and to the courtyard, he could see her. He watched her run her hands over the arms of her sweater. She smiled at him as he got closer.

"Hey." She said quietly and slowly, almost in a whisper. Haley sat on the green bench and crossed her legs. "I have been doing a lot of thinking lately." She pulled her legs up to her chest and looked up at me. He could see the reflection of the crescent moon in her brown eyes. She took a deep breath and let her eyes meet his, "I'm sorry."

Nathan nodded his head and then slowly shrugged his shoulders. "We tried." He dug his hands deep into his pockets.

She rubbed her eyes, so obviously fighting back tears and said, "I do love you though, Nate." He nodded at her comment and she continued, "I just… I guess, I love you but, I'm not in love with you. I have been talking for so long about how much I love you, and I do love you, Nathan, I really and honestly do, but I don't love you like I used to. Its just not the same anymore." She stood up, "I'm just sorry, that's all."

He nodded again and put his hand on her cheek. As he kissed her forehead he whispered, "I'll miss you."

Haley let out a little laugh and put her hands on his shoulders, "I'm not going anywhere." She laughed again, "I just won't…" Before she could finish she choked on her words. She wiped her eyes and looked up at him, "I just won't be there when you wake up anymore." She paused for a moment, "When we were living together and things were great…" She wiped her eyes again, "Those were the happiest days of my life. I just wanted you to know that."

"So this is really it. This time is different isn't it?" Nathan asked as he sat down on the bench.

"Yeah," She said, stretching the word out making sure it was the right answer. "This is it." Haley leaned down over Nathan and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see ya," She said as she winked at him.

He gave her a small smile and watched her walk away.

She looked down at the ground and felt the phone in her pocket vibrate. She pulled it out and looked at the name. Lucas. "Hey." She said, slowly and almost in a whisper.

"Hey you." He said in a breathy voice.

"I did it." Haley told him as she opened her car door. "I told him…" She paused, "It was hard, but I told him..."

* * *

Lucas ran his hand over her leg as he listened to Haley's words on the other end of the phone. He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. They were green. They were green because she had been crying. He hated that he had let Haley down. He didn't know what to say.

"Haley… wait…"

She narrowed her eyes at him. He shook his head and the winked at her. He ran his hand over her leg. "Haley, I'm sorry…" He closed his eyes, imagining the look of let down on his best friend's face. "You shouldn't have done that."

Brooke stood up from her seat and walked across his bedroom to stand in the doorway, "What's going on?"

He shook his head at her. "Hales, Brooke and I are back together."


End file.
